Manipulation

I know I moan about being a manipulated consumer quite often. I know it, and I'm sorry.
But the post-Christmas healthy eating campaign really gets to me. It's so contrived. One day passes, and suddenly the endless chocolate, chips galore, cheese platters and other calorific goodies in the aisles are replaced with mountains of Special K and Ryvita as we are reminded to watch our waistline. Where were you when the damage was being done? Luring me in with two-for-the-price-of-one waist expanders of the sweet and oily variety? Every year the story is the same and it infuriates me.
I don't blame weight gain on them, and I don't expect them to help me find a solution. But I hate their assumption that I want to lose weight after Christmas.
Yesterday was the first day that the post was up and running again. What do I see on my doormat? Another invitation to rejoin Weight Watchers (if you are wondering about my latest attempt, let's not talk about it...). They are so clever. They couldn't even wait till after New Year, could they?

Stopping and shopping

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas and is enjoying a nice long relax!

I'm slowly recovering from my flu, and it feels so good to be on the mend. Unfortunately there were several things that being ill prevented me from being able to do. There were some gifts I didn't manage to send in time, care packages I didn't get to, and that was disappointing. One thing that a high fever shows you though is how to stop. If our bodies didn't force us to stop once in a while we probably wouldn't - and I need to learn to stop more often, to go slower, to take time and not burn myself out.

I did get the chance to do some reading when I was in bed, and one of the books I enjoyed is called 'A Small Part of History' by Peggy Elliott, a novel about the female pioneers on the trail to Oregon. It was interesting, if not a great piece of literature. It was particularly moving to see the difficult journey through the eyes of women, and I enjoyed the 'journal' approach. This isn't the place to discuss how much I appreciate a female oriented approach, but it is something I hope to mention at some point. I went to a women's college at Oxford (St Hilda's has now started to accept men, though I cherished its single-sex status) and studied a lot of women's literature. I was fortunate to have been taught by some incredible female scholars. Lyndall Gordon, who has written beautiful biographies of Mary Wollstonecraft, Charlotte Bronte and others, once said in a tutorial something that I feel to be true: that there exists between women a special understanding that cannot easily be replicated in male-female relationships. So the female perspective pleased me. Since I have been enjoying learning more about the Mormon faith lately, inspired by my friend Ryan and by some fellow bloggers, I had been hoping for more glimpses of Mormon pioneers but references were sparse. Still, I often think it is a good sign if a book can inspire you to delve further into a topic, and this book definitely inspired me to read more American history.



It is sooo cold out, yet the streets are full of shoppers. England is having some of the best sales ever and people are intent on taking advantage.

I picked up quite a few bargains myself: two lovely coats, a shirt, a pair of trousers and some fabulous bakeware from Le Creuset! But the purchase about which I am most excited is the KitchenAid mixer. I have been droning on and on about how much I want one of these, but in France and England they are totally and completely unaffordable (650 and 500 dollars respectively). Luckily we have a family friend in New York who graciously agreed to accept delivery of the mixer, and I or my family will pick it up when we are next in the States. So I got my coveted mixer for $240! Yay! Yet again, I thought about how we are taken for granted as consumers in Europe. What reason is there for such a huge differential? Urghh!

I hesitated a lot on the colour, but finally settled on Metallic Chrome, so that it would go with everything. I hope I made the right choice - the colour looks different in every photo I see! Can't wait to cook up a storm!

Flu

No posts lately because I have been ill - I am hopefully ending my fight with the worst bout of flu I have ever had. Completely out of it, 39 degree fever, woke up drenched for days, slept all day, every limb seemed to hurt, stomach cramps.... horrible. Two days literally just went by in a fever induced haze. Luckily I managed to see a doctor right before coming home for Christmas. For two days I have eaten nothing - SO unlike me but I hope that soon it will all be behind me.

I am itching to get outside and have some fun!

Foodie Week

It has been a real foodie week. First, we had our department Christmas dinner out, then there was a fabulous Christmas lunch in-house, with champagne, foie gras, dover sole, a cheese platter and a famous Parisian patissier sur place to produce mouth watering desserts. A far cry from the dry turkey and old-looking sprouts I would have been given back home!

Yummy cheese platter:

By now rather empty dessert array, but you can imagine:

After that there were two goodbye drinks cocktails for two members of the team, and then there was all the cooking that I did on Thursday night.

My favourite colleague, Mathilde, left on Friday. Her internship has come to an end and she will be joining my firm in Paris. She is such a special person. She is so kind, so humble, so intelligent (doing law school, internships and her PhD thesis simultaneously) and I have had so much fun getting to know her. She was my food buddie in the office (were are both always hungry!). Normally, when interns leave the company, there is a lavish champagne and hors d'oeuves reception to say goodbye, but it was decided that this would not be done for Mathilde because we have been so deliciously stuffed and had had enough events for one week.

I thought differently though, and arranged something 'on the sly'. I had my secretary order up some champagne and I said I would deal with the food. I literally got about 3 hours sleep the night before because I was still making all those petits fours - 80 of them though I only had a 15 piece pan! I made gruyere and mushroom and spinach, smoken salmon and goat's cheese petits fours. I also made ginger cake with cranberries and a white chocolate and raspberry cake.

I do not often say this but I think that the last cake is one of the most delicious ones that I have eaten. It is so moist and the actual cake, not just the icing, is flavourful. I made the original recipe twice, stacked it and decided to put lots of raspberries in the middle to cut through the sweetness. I was very happy with the cake, so I thought I'd pass along the recipe below (written out for two cakes stacked, but you can halve it and make one cake).

White chocolate and raspberry cake

Cake

600g flour
4 tablespoons of baking powder
pinch of salt
400g brown sugar
500 ml milk
360g butter
180g honey
300g white chocolate
4 lightly beaten eggs
500g frozen raspberries, thawed
fresh raspberries to decorate

1. preheat oven to 160 degrees c. and butter your cake pans.
2. in a bowl, mix flour, baking powder and salt
3. in a saucepan mix the chocolate, brown sugar, honey and heat on a genle flame. Mix until you have an even consistency
4. leave this to cool and then add the eggs and the flour mixture and mix
5. divide mixture into two pans and put in oven for about an hour or until a knife comes out clean.

Icing

100ml creme fraiche
300g milk chocolate

1. Put creme fraiche into saucepan and heat to a simmer. Add the chocolate and mix until mixture is smooth.

2. Place in fridge for 30 minutes and decorate cake.

Assembly

1. Thinly coat uneven side of each cake with butter and leftover icing, then place 500g of raspberries on the bottom cake

2. Put second cake on raspeberry coloured cake and decorate to taste.

Here are some pictures of the day:

Au Ciel de Paris and other (more serious) thoughts

Last tonight, to commemorate the departure of two people in the department and to celebrate Christmas, my department had a very smart dinner out in a restaurant called 'Au Ciel de Paris' on the top of the Tour Montparnasse, the highest (and ugliest) building in Paris. Can you believe that someone actually granted planning permission for this monstrosity?





I expected amazing food and even better views but, unfortunately, I got neither. There was so much fog out that we saw nothing from the 56th floor, and the food was decidedly mediocre. But I did have some lovely chats with my colleagues, and I realised how attached I had become to the company. I will really miss these people.

One of the people I spoke with is Austrian and, knowing that I am Jewish, he started talking about the Holocaust. He expressed a mixture of remorse, sadness and embarassment. I was so touched that he had visited Israel, that he mourned the loss of so many. It wasn't necessary to bring it up, particularly not on a festive event -and I appreciated his thoughfulness and gentle handling of the issue. He told me a lot about the politics surrounding the judgement of war criminals in Austria. Apparently for 10 years after the end of WWII many people involved were stripped of their right to vote. However once this restriction was lifted, suddenly this group represented a significant proportion of the population, a proportion to which the parties pandered in order to gain a majority, hence the difficulty of bringing people to trial. I didn't know that.

I have to be honest though: I didn't quite know how to respond. I tried my best to thank him and tell him that I was honoured by what he had said. I find that Germans and Austrians are always so knowledgeable about Israel and so sensitive to the issue - but he wouldn't hear of it.

It's not the first time that I have been in this situation and it is a hard one to handle. There is something to apologise for, of course, but it is not he who needs to apologise. Neither is it for me, really, to accept an apology. I don't have the right to do that on behalf of others. But I made sure I told him that I appreciate his thoughtfulness.

All we can do is appreciate moderation, appreciate the sentiment and try to do our part. Yet, if I am honest, with all the persecution in the world I'm not at all sure that I do my part. I think doing one's part starts with caring, with taking an interest. Following the news though it's not always comforting or fun. Knowledge is the start of empathy. Am I informed enough? How much do I really go out of my way to effect even the smallest change in the face of atrocities I hear about? These are questions that I ask myself frequently. I want to do more. Where to start? I don't have the answer, but perhaps with small acts of kindness day-by-day.

I once knew a man who was very active in the world of war crimes tribunals, government and academia. He had lofty ideals and the talent to effect change. He gave speeches, worked at the White House, had the best of contacts, set up charities, the list goes on. And yet, of all the people I have met, he disrespected and degraded me the most. A hero in one capacity, in every way visible to the outward world; a coward in the personal sphere, in which kindness does not advance one's career prospects.

My conclusion? I guess I don't have one. I learnt that overt activism does not trump small gestures from people who seek no recognition for their actions. George Eliot, perhaps my favourite author, expressed what I feel far better:

'Her full nature... had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive, for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts, and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life and rest in unvisited tombs.' (Finale, Middlemarch).

Help - deleted posts

Ok, I hate Blogger right now. I was trying to label some posts and ended up deleting some by mistake. It asked for no confirmation for this action. How did that happen? And is there any way to get them back?

Do you save your posts on your computer somewhere? I'm sad to have lost some 'family' posts and some of your comments. I am loving blogging, meeting new people and am so by what I have found and yet, right now, I lament the transience of the internet and yearn for the permanence of good old pen and paper.

Please give me your suggestions, tell me how you blog, help me prevent this from happening again!

Edit:

Found entries on Google cached, missing a few comments but still - phew. Sorry for reposting something you've already seen, but I want to keep a record of it.

My Dad

For a myriad of reasons, I have the most wonderful Dad in the world. He is funny and kind and loving and generous, a man who goes out of his way for people all the time. Love him. He came to visit me in Paris this weekend. We walked around, went to see a movie, went to the gorgeous local market for yummy ingredients for lunch and generally had a lovely time together.This dark, cold, Monday morning I woke up early so that I could accompany him to the Eurostar terminal (to catch his train to London) before heading off to work. As soon as we got to the station he realised he had left all his keys and phone in the flat. We had to change his ticket, get a taxi back home, get his keys and then I went to work and he had to go back to the station on his own. Just one of the little signs that my precious Dad is getting older. You start to realise that you do more and more ‘parenting’. It made me a little sad, but I tried not to show it, not to show my stress at getting to work late, at forgetfulness. I didn’t want him to feel bad, to feel embarrassed. Life is too short not to be supportive, to worry about one day’s lateness more than his emotions. And how often did our parents run around for us, picking up after our mistakes? I have a strong feeling that if I don’t think this way one day I’ll look back and regret it. For now I’m glad he’s home safe and sound and am grateful for the lovely weekend I spent with him.
Posted by Vanessa at 16:33
2 comments:
Megan said...
Certainly don't let little things make you angry. In fact, don't let big things make you angry. My dad wasn't great, but I loved him, and I was refusing to speak to him for a couple of months because he had treated me with a lot of coldness and disrespect - calling me stupid, telling me I was ugly in front of my boyfriend. It hurt a lot, and I was mad, so I wouldn't speak to him.After about the sixth week of this, he passed away (almost a year ago now). Even though my dad could be unkind, dismissive, ignorant, argumentative, mean, drunk, and had a lot of really abusive qualities in him, it still really hurts to know that the last time I spoke to him, I hung up on him.Thankfully, your situation isn't as complicated nor drastic as mine, but just remember that a lot of times, we don't know what we have until it's gone.
08 December 2008 23:02
Vanessa said...
Hi Megan, I already left you a message on your blog but just wanted to say thank you. How wise and mature you are - thank you so much for this comment.

Boston

I have returned from Boston and I had SUCH a wonderful time! Most wonderful was being able to spend so much time with Ima. We had a glitch upon departure – her passport, though current, was not biometric, and at the airport they told us we could not fly. We were so sad and dejected, having planned this trip for so long. We had to change our ticket prior to departure to avoid forfeiting it, so we changed it to the following day without even knowing that the British Consulate could get Ima a passport in less than 24 hours. It was quite a leap of faith. We schlepped our bags to the consulate and filled out a passport form, took photos and returned to the flat, which smelled of paint because the painters had been there that day. All the furniture was covered in dust sheets and we slept in a dusty stinky mess, all the while worrying that the following morning the passport would not be ready. To our delight it was, and of we went to Charles de Gaulle again. We made it!Boston was gorgeous! The first day I visited HBS and sat in on a class. The students were open and excited and the dynamics of the class were quite incredible to witness. There was so much energy and excitement. I thought the case method was really impressive. My class was about an employee at a large bank who is a great performer but who doesn’t get along with co-workers and does not adhere to the company’s culture or guiding principles. The question at hand was whether he should be promoted. The students (from all over the world) had varying opinions. The professor really challenged the students to ensure that they were judicious in their approach. He took a vote on the issue and after the discussion asked people whether they had changed their mind. Another vote was taken and a decision was made. Only then was the class told what really happened. It was fascinating to see, because having worked through the problem the answer meant more - more could be learned from it and from its impact. I think everyone learnt something, and left the class upbeat.I then attended a student lunch and met some more students, who took the time to answer applicants’ questions and give their input. They were terrific. I felt motivated and excited. I had taken the GMAT prior to leaving and the score was disappointing. The maths score, of course, let me down. The verbal was strong. If anything could have given me the impetus to resume studying it was visiting campus.Ima and I spent much of our time just walking around Boston. We had coffees and drinks, ate lovely food and savoured the lovely atmosphere of the town. It is such a walkeable city. Ima attended her cardiac valve symposium, which she enjoyed, and together we shopped and talked and had fun! I came home with some great boots, some amazing bargains at Marshalls (I loved it!) and a year’s supply of Clinique! One of the fun things that happened was bumping into Vicky, a school friend who I had not seen since the first week of Oxford. She is working in Boston and radiated excitement and happiness at working there. I was so pleased for her and it made my day to see her. We had gorgeous weather for the most part. I loved every minute, literally, and can’t wait to go back! I only wished that Marc could see it all with me.
Posted by Vanessa at 11:24

1 comments:
audrey said...
what a beautiful landscape!I just want to go there too!!!!(V.your Mulberry is just fantastic)
05 December 2008 12:52

Jewellery

It was a lovely weekend, but one thing was scary: I thought that I had lost one earring of a pair that I adore. They have a special story and I wanted to share. Dad used to be a jeweller, and still has an office in the jewellery center. One of his closest friends makes gold jewellery, and when Dad was visiting this friend, someone came in with some gold for sale, in the form of these earrings. The gold was going to be melted down and made into something else. Dad saw these earrings and bought them immediately, thinking it so sad that something so pretty would just be melted and destroyed. They are antique and I treasure them because of how lovely they are and because they are a gift from my dear father, who 'saved' them for me. I was traumatised at the thought of having lost one earring. I found it in the end, thank goodness! I am taking extra special care and bought rubber butterflies to attach to the back to lessen the risk of them falling off again.

Continuing with the jewellery theme, this afternoon I went to Galeries Lafayette to do a spot of Chanukah shopping. It is really incredible that the shops here are open on Sundays as Christmas approaches - this has never been the case before and is causing union fury (France and its unions, don't get me started).

There were so many people it was exhausting, but I had so much fun looking at brands I had never heard of before, and was particularly enamoured with a new designer, Marine (click on 'Marine' to visit her website), who was selling her jewellery herself (isn't it always fun to meet the designer?). She makes really fun, vintage inspired, whimsical jewellery, and it is affordable. I found a darling pair of earrings for my mum. I'm so pleased with my choice! One day my mum and her friend went to the market and all she came home with were some Russian dolls (babooshkas- sp?). I thought it so cute at the time, and I know she'll love these earrings:





And I was cheeky and bought myself this ring:





Here are some pictures of the beautifully decorated store: