Tuesday, 2 March 2010

Dress doubt

Where does it come from? Does everyone experience it? It seems as though so many ladies on the Knot go through this, but sometimes I can't help but wonder whether there is a whole other normal word of ladies out there who don't obsess on wedding websites. Women who buy a dress and think no more of it.
I for one definitely had dress doubt. I tried dresses on alone, then brought my mother along with me to buy the dress I had chosen (which she also liked). I had only tried on about 10 dresses at that point. After I tried mine on, I didn't want to look at any more. Sure, some might be more flattering or opulent but my dress made me look like the image of the bride I had always had in my head: feminine, lovely, on the modest side. So many dresses are beautiful in and of themselves but not all, I thought, felt right for a wedding and this one did.
So what happened? What shook my conviction? Well, I showed photos of myself in the sample and no-one particularly liked the dress. On the dress board of the Knot, people said they weren't sure anything could be done to make it fit better. The size of the wedding grew. Suddenly perhaps my dress was too simple and sweet to stand up to so many people.
What did I do? I stressed. I became weird weepy anal bride and it's a surprise Marc's still around! But, slowly slowly I calmed down, resolved that I didn't want to buy another dress, and decided to wait to till the fittings to see what I thought.
And you guessed it. At the fittings I loved my dress. It fit beautifully. I felt even better than when I bought it. I didn't want to take it off and was sad to leave it in the dress shop.
So why do people doubt their dress so much? I have a few ideas...
1. They keep looking. There are so many dresses that could look good, as good if not better than the dress you chose. Looking doesn't help.
2. The time in between ordering and seeing the dress. It's torture. Time to look. Time to stress.
3. This is one of the most expensive purchases a woman makes on herself, and is probably the only one that is non-returnable and subject to as much scrutiny.
4. Pressure from/opinions of others. I don't like many of the dresses that people rave about on the Knot. Why, then, should I be upset when people don't like mine? There are so many trends and if a dress doesn't fit into one some won't like it.
5. The excitement? The thrill of trying on dresses, knowing it's the only time of life you can, and the thrill of ordering a wedding dress. It is so exciting and once you've done it it's behind you.
If you're doubting your dress remember: people won't know the other alternatives you had, and if you picked it's because you felt great in it, which really is all that matters. Stop looking at dresses and move on to another planning stage. Remember that you will be beautiful no matter what.
Did you have dress doubt? Please share your experiences - I'd love to read them!


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