Tuesday, 16 December 2008

Help - deleted posts

Ok, I hate Blogger right now. I was trying to label some posts and ended up deleting some by mistake. It asked for no confirmation for this action. How did that happen? And is there any way to get them back?

Do you save your posts on your computer somewhere? I'm sad to have lost some 'family' posts and some of your comments. I am loving blogging, meeting new people and am so by what I have found and yet, right now, I lament the transience of the internet and yearn for the permanence of good old pen and paper.

Please give me your suggestions, tell me how you blog, help me prevent this from happening again!


Found entries on Google cached, missing a few comments but still - phew. Sorry for reposting something you've already seen, but I want to keep a record of it.

My Dad

For a myriad of reasons, I have the most wonderful Dad in the world. He is funny and kind and loving and generous, a man who goes out of his way for people all the time. Love him. He came to visit me in Paris this weekend. We walked around, went to see a movie, went to the gorgeous local market for yummy ingredients for lunch and generally had a lovely time together.This dark, cold, Monday morning I woke up early so that I could accompany him to the Eurostar terminal (to catch his train to London) before heading off to work. As soon as we got to the station he realised he had left all his keys and phone in the flat. We had to change his ticket, get a taxi back home, get his keys and then I went to work and he had to go back to the station on his own. Just one of the little signs that my precious Dad is getting older. You start to realise that you do more and more ‘parenting’. It made me a little sad, but I tried not to show it, not to show my stress at getting to work late, at forgetfulness. I didn’t want him to feel bad, to feel embarrassed. Life is too short not to be supportive, to worry about one day’s lateness more than his emotions. And how often did our parents run around for us, picking up after our mistakes? I have a strong feeling that if I don’t think this way one day I’ll look back and regret it. For now I’m glad he’s home safe and sound and am grateful for the lovely weekend I spent with him.
Posted by Vanessa at 16:33
Megan said...
Certainly don't let little things make you angry. In fact, don't let big things make you angry. My dad wasn't great, but I loved him, and I was refusing to speak to him for a couple of months because he had treated me with a lot of coldness and disrespect - calling me stupid, telling me I was ugly in front of my boyfriend. It hurt a lot, and I was mad, so I wouldn't speak to him.After about the sixth week of this, he passed away (almost a year ago now). Even though my dad could be unkind, dismissive, ignorant, argumentative, mean, drunk, and had a lot of really abusive qualities in him, it still really hurts to know that the last time I spoke to him, I hung up on him.Thankfully, your situation isn't as complicated nor drastic as mine, but just remember that a lot of times, we don't know what we have until it's gone.
08 December 2008 23:02
Vanessa said...
Hi Megan, I already left you a message on your blog but just wanted to say thank you. How wise and mature you are - thank you so much for this comment.


I have returned from Boston and I had SUCH a wonderful time! Most wonderful was being able to spend so much time with Ima. We had a glitch upon departure – her passport, though current, was not biometric, and at the airport they told us we could not fly. We were so sad and dejected, having planned this trip for so long. We had to change our ticket prior to departure to avoid forfeiting it, so we changed it to the following day without even knowing that the British Consulate could get Ima a passport in less than 24 hours. It was quite a leap of faith. We schlepped our bags to the consulate and filled out a passport form, took photos and returned to the flat, which smelled of paint because the painters had been there that day. All the furniture was covered in dust sheets and we slept in a dusty stinky mess, all the while worrying that the following morning the passport would not be ready. To our delight it was, and of we went to Charles de Gaulle again. We made it!Boston was gorgeous! The first day I visited HBS and sat in on a class. The students were open and excited and the dynamics of the class were quite incredible to witness. There was so much energy and excitement. I thought the case method was really impressive. My class was about an employee at a large bank who is a great performer but who doesn’t get along with co-workers and does not adhere to the company’s culture or guiding principles. The question at hand was whether he should be promoted. The students (from all over the world) had varying opinions. The professor really challenged the students to ensure that they were judicious in their approach. He took a vote on the issue and after the discussion asked people whether they had changed their mind. Another vote was taken and a decision was made. Only then was the class told what really happened. It was fascinating to see, because having worked through the problem the answer meant more - more could be learned from it and from its impact. I think everyone learnt something, and left the class upbeat.I then attended a student lunch and met some more students, who took the time to answer applicants’ questions and give their input. They were terrific. I felt motivated and excited. I had taken the GMAT prior to leaving and the score was disappointing. The maths score, of course, let me down. The verbal was strong. If anything could have given me the impetus to resume studying it was visiting campus.Ima and I spent much of our time just walking around Boston. We had coffees and drinks, ate lovely food and savoured the lovely atmosphere of the town. It is such a walkeable city. Ima attended her cardiac valve symposium, which she enjoyed, and together we shopped and talked and had fun! I came home with some great boots, some amazing bargains at Marshalls (I loved it!) and a year’s supply of Clinique! One of the fun things that happened was bumping into Vicky, a school friend who I had not seen since the first week of Oxford. She is working in Boston and radiated excitement and happiness at working there. I was so pleased for her and it made my day to see her. We had gorgeous weather for the most part. I loved every minute, literally, and can’t wait to go back! I only wished that Marc could see it all with me.
Posted by Vanessa at 11:24

audrey said...
what a beautiful landscape!I just want to go there too!!!!(V.your Mulberry is just fantastic)
05 December 2008 12:52


Pearl said...

oh vanessa, i'm writing this in response to your post about your dad:

isn't it so true, though? when it hits us that we are no longer the children, and instead, end up parenting them in some ways? it's almost heartbreaking, and your post brought tears to my eyes. how sweet of you to not show any stress, especially since you knew it might distress your father. i think you are such a great daughter.

when i was little, i was the only one that was brave enough to go on roller coasters and ferris wheels. my cousins and brothers refused to set foot on those. so, since i was 6, my dad didn't want me to go by myself, so he would go with me (the adults were pretty chicken, too.. hehe). last year, he had heart surgery, and when he came back, we decided to all take a mini vacation. we decided to go to universal studios, and during our visit, we went on several rides that had the sign that warned you against riding if you had certain health conditions/pregnant. my dad had to skip out on every single one of those rides, because he was afraid that his heart might not be able to take it. it was an extremely sobering moment for us, and although he tried to play it off like it was no big deal, i couldn't help but think back to the times when he would hurry up, after me, onto the steps of the ferris wheel and sit and enjoy the ride. *sigh*.

ok, no more sentimental moments: i'm glad you had a great time in boston!

Vanessa said...

Thank you so so so much for this lovely post - I so appreciate it!

It's so good to hear other people's experiences of this and it means a lot. It is so sad to see our parents become more dependent.

Ultimately perhaps we just have to learn to treasure them as much as possible. Your Dad sounds wonderful, and I am certain that you are a wonderful daughter. I'm so sorry to hear that he had to go through heart surgery - I know what an emotionally taxing time that is. I am proud of you for brushing the rollercoaster incident off, poignant though it was. I really believe that health and psychology are inter-related, and the more we give our parents the feeling that they are strong, the more confident and strong they will actually be.
Again, thank you so much for sharing this - I feel much better for having read it xxx